The Grislyton Academy for Wordsmithery & Voculation

“A college for anyone interested in spooky storytelling & narration by candle light.”

Mr. Blend’s education began at none other than The Grislyton Academy for Wordsmithery & Voculation. ’Tis a peculiar college that has never, to this day, seen much sunlight and, much to the surprise of first-time visitors, exists within a portion of the Hudson Valley that is perpetually blanketed in a patchy fog.

As a distinguished alumnus, Mr. Blend offered to showcase his alma mater on his website in order to encourage those interested in this profession to seek an education most proper. For no other school in existence can match the knowledge, talent, and curiousness of the Academy’s faculty, kitchen staff, and overnight wastepaper-bin emptiers.

Rumor has it that during his 9 ¾ years at Grislyton, Mr. Blend met his illustrator Rogustus Lockewood—though no one remembers him, despite a photograph of his favorite hat existing rather conspicuously within every yearbook during that period. Rumor also states that Mr. Lockewood is really Mr. Blend (ah, hearsay!).

ABOUT THE FOUNDER | Arthur Grislyton, 1602–1692, was a maker of fine buckled shoes and work boots. But he never wrote a story in his life. He never read a single book. And he was a horrible speaker around even one person, much less several. However, he thought those activities could serve as a most enjoyable way to earn a living. So, he founded a school.

He met an untimely end when, whilst dropping off a pair of shoes to a librarian, a tall bookshelf removed itself from its wall brace and crushed him forthwith.

Mr. Blend’s major was storytelling in print, with a minor in narration by candle light. He was also a member of The Pumpkinlight™ Society.

. . .

For more information, please visit the academy’s website (once it’s launched).

“LET IT BE KNOWN THAT Mr. Blend graduated with full honors from our prestigious-yet-also-nearly-unknown school for storytelling and narration.

“His ability not only craft themes of the most odd sort but to moreover apply his distinctive embrace of the playfully macabre was second to none.

“On behalf of nearly the entire faculty and a handful of students, I can say with utmost confidence that Mr. Blend will leave readers of all ages playfully aghast.”

Sir Bartholomew Pembroke III, dean of school, professor emeritus